I feel like I just need to put this out there. I'm having a love/hate relationship with the internet and I have been for a while. I love the instant accessibility of information. I love being able to keep in close contact with friends and family from out of state, and I love the outlet that my blog provides. But the internet has a dark, devious underbelly and some of the main culprits are message boards.
I've never been pregnant before so it's no surprise that I have a TON of questions. Every twinge, wave of nausea, lab report and night sweat fills my mind with queries. Is this normal for early pregnancy? Is this anything I should worry about? My nurses are awesome, patient women and bear the brunt of my questions with an easy grace, bless them. Even though I have a team of RNs accessible with a quick email, I sometimes succumb to the dark side and "Google It" and I am ALWAYS filled with regret.
If you Google anything with the keywords "early pregnancy" you will find sites and message boards chock full of stories about how whatever symptom you are experiencing is a sign of miscarriage, the apocalypse or both. I'm pretty sure if you Googled "Ingrown toenail early pregnancy" you would find a horrific story about someone who miscarried because they put off a trip to the podiatrist.
The convenience of all this information at our fingertips is not all it's cracked up to be. Our mothers didn't have the internet to look up their symptoms and satisfy their neurotic tendencies. They had their mothers, OBs and friends. They hoped for the best and probably didn't worry nearly as much as the rest of us do. I remember in my first consult with my RE, my doctor's best advice on coping with infertility and the ensuing treatments was "Stay off the internet." I definitely think there is some middle ground for compromise here so I've come up with the following plan of action:
- Do not Google every symptom. If it's concerning, email your awesome nurses and put it out of your mind.
- Stay positive and in the moment. I will kick myself if I spend my entire pregnancy plagued with worry and not savoring the fact that I am, in fact, expecting.
- Admit when you have an addiction to information and share this with those in your corner so they can keep you in check. :)
So with that, I move forward. I will strive to overcome my addiction to Google. I'll work to separate my anxiousness and desire for a healthy baby from becoming a full-blown neurotic lady, and I will focus on enjoying each precious moment of this much hoped for pregnancy.
What a well-written and super important post. I was right there with you during my pregnancy. I think I called my doctor in a panic...more times than I'd like to admit. The thing is - the information seems helpful, but a lot of the time, it isn't. When I miscarried Ethan at 19 weeks, I didn't have a single symptom of miscarriage. Nothing happened to cause the loss. It just happened without me having a clue. Then with Harriet, I noticed every single little thing about my body for that entire nine month period. I was terrified and many times, I was sure she was lost. But she was fine...perfectly healthy. I hope that my story about Ethan doesn't scare you but rather that it gives you a peace that the scary symptoms you might experience most likely mean nothing at all. One more thing - with Ethan, I was sick. With Harriet, no morning sickness whatsoever. So that whole thing about nausea being a good sign...well, it wasn't for me. Again, it just goes to show that everyone from Aunt Agatha to Mr. Google himself can be full of shit sometimes. Pregnancy is an exercise in letting go...perfect practice for parenting.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Em! As usual, you are right on target. "Pregnancy is an exercise in letting go..." profound and much needed! I have a feeling that is a message I'm going to need to receive in triplicate for it to continue sinking in. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post! I would even go so far as to say that there are no true indicators of miscarraige other than heavy bleeding and severe cramping... but even then, not always. Just like EVERY feeling you've EVER experienced is a sign for pregnancy, EVERY symptom of pregnancy seems to be a symptom of miscarraige. It's enough to drive a woman crazy.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, my mom had the exact opposite experience as Em. My brother and I were both born completely healthy after Kate Middleton style sickness for half the pregnancy... but her miscarraige as 20 weeks she never got sick. It's impossible to know and that plain ol' sucks!
I think your plan is good! Hang in there!
Awesome post, Lindsey! I agree, stay off the internet, and take the books with a grain of salt. If something is wrong, you'll know it--so there's no sense in obsessing about possibilities ahead of time. As hard as it is, try to stay in the now and celebrate every minute, hour, day, week that you are in fact expecting! :) It's so hard when this pregnancy is so hard-won, and it's easy for me to say this now when I did all the same things when I was briefly in your shoes. Just remember: YOU HAVE DONE EVERYTHING YOU POSSIBLY CAN (AND MORE!) TO ENSURE A HEALTHY PREGNANCY AND BABY. Trust that this is real and lasting. I'm thinking of you and sending lots of positive vibes your way. I hope to join you soon! (My transfer is Tuesday...gulp!)
ReplyDeleteJESS!!! Tuesday?! I'm so incredibly excited for you! I hope that your transfer is as beautiful and special experience as ours was. Sending lots of happy sticky baby thoughts your way!
DeleteThanks lady! It will be different for sure, I've NEVER had a fresh five day ever and am just giddy over that. Plus, thanks to all you ladies who mentioned the Valium as part of the transfer protocol, I got my doctor to agree to that so it should be more relaxed this time. Got to be honest, after things started going wrong instead of negative the transfer has been a stressful time because I felt such responsibility for the embryos leaving. But this time is so different! So much hope and less fear for this one. Thanks for the love! :)
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